I am floating high above

the world below fast asleep

kingdoms fall before the rise

love gets lost in your eyes

words get lost in translation

destinations never end

do you hear the notes above

i think they are singing to you

Human rights, spies on the low down, bombs bursting unknown, wheres you momma, wheres you dad, brother, sista, and grand ma ma, big flies overhead, god in the clock tower, i see a grim man, dust kicks up, then settles, the air becomes free, a hatred man, with scorns for soul, draws to quick, breaks the molecules, punctions the skin, leaves you breathless, bleeds profound, words find your mouth, breathes come to the end, i see pearl gates, good night to the land...

random thought...sometimes when you try to get stuff done, somethings get in the way.  You compromise by doing it tomorrow.  

Waiting...

Im the worst waiter. I don’t know what it is but I can not wait anymore. The minute I feel like im waiting for something or someone, I get this anxiety that comes over me. My stomach gets turned and I can’t sit still. I just feel uneasy for some odd reason.

Growing up we were always taught, “being on time is being late.” Now that I am older, I feel that, that saying is true in its own sense. At the same time, I feel that it is making apprehensive when it comes to waiting for things to get done. Ill do my part and write an email to a co-worker only for them to take two days for them to send me something back all while Im getting hassled that something is not done. I wrote up our newsletter last week and I put it on two people’s desks for review. I wanted someone to proof read what I made and make sure it is what we want. Before leaving for the weekend last weekend, the boss came and asked me where it was. I told him I was waiting for my peer review edits to come back so I can print them up. I showed him a brief copy of what I had made thus far and he made comments right there on the go. That was all I was asking for. Today I made the changes he suggested and now Im printing a bunch of copies out on my 1980 color printer. It has taken 45 minutes to print 10 colored copies.

Another part of my anxiety that I have developed is waiting for people to call/text me back. I don’t know why I get weird-ed out about people calling me back or not but it has just started making me feel weird. I always try to call people back or text them back, I know im bad at this too, it just makes me feel awkward. I think a big part of this is because I casually date and the girls who I would like to see again and this phone/text game thing. I really don’t understand it myself but it is something that I have to go through to try and meet a decent girl. I wish all these games were put to the side and I could find a pretty awesome girl without all the needless games.

When all is said and done, I think my biggest problem is that I have a job were I am by myself for the majority of the time. Most of the jobs I have ever had were like this but not it is wearing on me. Ever hear the phrase, if you have a question ask a cowboy. I feel like I am becoming that cowboy. I drive around all day and listen to the radio and think about people I meet, will meet, who I met, and I am always curious of what they are doing. I know most people are busy during the day and can’t talk or have weird hours that don’t match mine, but I still would like to talk to whomever.

With all of this said, it is now time for lunch and I have to wait another 7 minutes to order it. Im always waiting on something…

RIP

WARNING - WALMART

The other week I took my car to Walmart to get a quick oil change in my subaru. It was suggested by a friend to take my car here because it was quick and the price was fair. Not having much time to do maintenance items on my vehicle I took it over without thinking. I ride over, which is around the corner from my house, and take it to the vehicle center. I see the ghetto people working on the cars and since all they do is oil changes I thought there wouldnt be a problem. I go for the up-graded service plan which cost a little more money but Id rather have a better oil in my car. The oil change takes a little over an hour but while Im waiting I get to walk around walmart and people watch. This Walmart is harlarious! It is located near Camden and you get a bunch of crazies that go. This one time, this elder black dude was compaining to be that there are too many people to be racist against. He prefered the days when it was only white vs black.

Moving on...

My car started to run really funny. The gears were slipping and it had no pick up. I had to play with the gas pedal to allow enough gas to try and catch a gear. This went on for a day and I went out and bought some transmission cleaner and gas cleaner. I added both to my car and the check engine lights went off for about 2 days. After the two days of being lightless, the lights came back on so I called the subaru dealership. The next day I brought the car to the dealership in hopes that they would the problem. This is what they said...

The person who changed your oil last tried to remove the transmission filter with pliers and broke the seal and the filter. The transmission filter is never to be removed so when it happened the a leak started. In a couple days I leaked 4 quarts of trans fluid and didnt even know it because of my brushgard. In talking with the subaru mech I then mentioned that my car is still under warrenty and that the service should be free. He then said that because of manual damage to the car, the warrenty is void in this situation. So now, I have to call subaru and walmart and see if I can get someone to pay for the damages. Atleast now my car runs better than it has ever ran before.

Sometimes I like to go golfing

and when i make it in here...

I celebrate...

Being P.C.

I really do not like the fact that this society has become so politically correct, P.C. I personally blame the educational giants that we send our children to. In that setting there is a dictatorship between teachers and students. Children are bred to follow rules and to be sensitive to their peers and to the elders. I think this is complete and totally bull.

Let’s start off by examining the role of the "educator". This person is to stand in front of a group of students and explain a subject which was passed at a power higher than them. That, so-called, educator is apart of the system and right or wrong is teaching the system to the younger generation. They are destroying free thought and expression and polluting young growing minds with diseased garbage of American Education Text Books. This educator may or may not know the subject matter in full; however, this person will stand before the students like they are all knowing. Not getting to involved in the destruction of free thought, let’s stick to the subject matter of this blog.

Being in an educational setting for many years, there are phrases and words that can and can not be used. This is in fear of, not harming someone's feelings, however, to avoid a lawsuit. Simple words such as retard can no longer be used, even if you are explaining to a peer that you feel retarded today. That term will be taken out of text and examined for only the negative connotation of the word. But, in fact, you might be feeling slow that day from a night of heavy drinking and in fact your brain would feel the effect of being retarded.

Another word that I find foolish to punish for is the word "gay". Words evolve just like everything else. The word "gay" first meant happy, then evolved into homosexuality, and now the word "gay" can mean stupid. Are there other words to express the feeling stupid, yes, but why should we sensor ourselves for the sake of being P.C. If a word bothers you that bad where it will make you have panic attacks and might force you to die, I can see looking at the word to make it lesser. But the fact is, there are no words that present that health risk to humans. Words are words, it’s the over sensitivity of people that censor language. Language can be beautiful in all forms, to censor such should be labeled a crime.

Because of this over sensitivity to language, great books and essays will never be read by young readers. I say shame on the education department for banning greats such as,

Leaves of Grass – Walt Whitman
Rights of a Man – Thomas Paine
Tom Sawyer – Mark Twain

"For only when free men write and speak truth will the exercise of arbitrary power be exposed and opposed."

Utah really likes the snow

and shes really fast...

Some days, I live on top of a mountain...

Other days, I live on the side of stream...

I once moved onto a farm...

Before hitting the big city...

But everywhere I went, the skies would trip me out...

Im going for a quick Phishing trip later this summer

I decided Sunday that I will be going to a couple more Phish shows this tour. I might hit up Pittsburgh on Thurs for a quick trip, since I have off on Friday. But I have to be back in the Philly area at noon for lunch with a new friend. She is more important than standing in a field with smelly hippies. The scene has changed, its younger now and the knowledge for the music is lack, rightfully so, with the quality of music being played is totally wacked at the moment.

Im feeling a llama opener, they havent played it yet but im feeling it.

Late August I will be attending the Merriweather show down outside of B-more. This venue is actually pretty cool. It has a summer camp feel to it. The sound is average at best from the lawn and its pretty steep. I dont have tickets to this show yet, but if they keep flubbing songs, I feel like I wont have a problem picking one up in the parking lot. Also, from the feel at Camden, there are a lot of tickets floating around right now.

After the Merritweather show, I plan on getting in the car and driving all night to the Saratoga show, several hours north. This will put me in a good situation to sleep during the day and have enough energy to make my way back that night for work on Monday.

That will conclude the summer Phish tour for this year, not sure how well it will end but it should be a good time. Like I said, the crowd base is a little young and dirty but the few older heads who still show up are quality people with a knowledge for the music. Im just adding to my show account, thats so lame. Actually, not to long after this mini-tour, I will be flying to Red Rocks to see Ween and visit a couple friends out that way.

Ween is a whole other story...

Today was a crazy weird day

I feel at ease...

Monday Morning and I got a tune

It happens everytime...

I would say, one of the best feelings is a Monday morning coffee. It really puts a good twist on how we start the day. Every morning I come into work and the first thing I do is put on a pot of coffee. I usually dont drink the coffee I make because the maxwell house coffee, I feel like its not very good coffe, but on Monday mornings I enjoy a nice hot cup. I dont know if it wakes me up but it diffently puts me in a good mood for the day.



Here are some bennifts to drinking coffee: brought to us by positivelycoffee...

How does coffee affect memory?

Memory can be divided in Short Term Memory (STM), working memory (the part that is using active information) and Long Term Memory (LTM). Coffee helps mainly with STM and the working memory when normal amounts of information have to be dealt with Coffee helps to improve alertness, attention and wakefulness and by that means it facilitates learning. In other words, coffee helps optimise the energy sources you have for learning**. It also compensates fatigue by increasing the level of alertness. The benefits are found mostly during the course of a long exam or test, when you get tired.

Will coffee lead to better focussed attention when studying?

Yes. Drinking coffee helps to focus your attention to the main task, when there are many things around needing your attention. It draws attention to what you need to learn and leads to less distraction although doing different things at the same time may in itself be stimulating enough. However, drinking more will result in over- stimulation and that may impair your learning and attention.

Is it sensible to drink coffee while doing exams?

Doing exams is an energy - and attention demanding activity; coffee may help to sharpen your mind, assuming that you are a regular coffee drinker. Since, coffee is used as a mood optimiser, it may help to find the most appropriate state of mind to make a success of the exam. If you are not a regular coffee drinker, then coffee may not be your best choice. So, in that case, stick to the drink you are accustomed to.

If I feel my concentration is fading, is coffee helpful in refreshing it?

Yes. Although concentration is also a question of putting effort into what you are doing. If your concentration slips away, take a break with coffee and this change of mind may help you to concentrate again.

The other day I joined a dating service. I figure, im getting old and I would like to find someone that I get along with. Doing the hobbies that I do and the scene that I am into, it is hard to meet new interesting ladies. This past weekend I went out with a three different ladies.

Friday night I met this girl who I have been talking to for couple weeks now. The night started with me being late to the train station. I arrived at the station as the train was pulling away so I was forced to wait for the next one. When I got into the city, I met her at the train stop and we walked to Chinatown for some dinner. Dinner went really well and I asked her to hangout a little longer. We walked around the city and hung out in rittenhouse sq. We has some interesting conversations and people watched for a little while. Some kid started setting up a drum set so we decided to try and get coffee so we could drink some coffee and watch him. We walked to a couple different places but every place we went was closed. When we walked back to the park, coffeeless, we watched this kid for, oh say, 30 seconds and left. We then continued the night with a last drink at some random bar in center city. Some guy was playing darts and the table we sat at was right next to the dartboard. I was nervous she was going to hit by a dart so I asked her to switch seats with me. It was getting late and we were both tired so we went went our own ways. I really dig this girl and I am going to pursue this woman. Shes a very sweet girl with a great sense of humor and I find her very attractive. Im going to cross my fingers and hope for the best.

Its funny how we walk around life meeting all kinds of people but we are only attracted to a specific type of person. A couple weeks ago I was haning around a younger girl who was alright but she just totally flaked on me. Its a mystery that is lost in the open ocean.

Im supposed to have a date tomorrow evening and maybe one this week sometime but if it was up to me, id go out with the girl I met Friday night and see how a second date would go. We texted when I got home Friday night and we texted today so we shall see. Its funny how texting is an acceptable form of communication. I do like it, its easier and you get to text at your leisure.

Wish me luck

How do people work everyday

The only thing I have to look forward to is the weekend where the possibilities are endless. Why do we go to work? It all seems a bit foolish to me, Im getting paid to pay someone else. Everyday, it seems like I get another bill and another charge for something. The days when I think im getting ahead, I get a sewer bill or electric bill. My money comes in one door and leaves the next. I need someone to start sponsoring me so I can just live. I would want to be an explorer if I had a chance. Someone that climbs the highest mountains and explores the deepest caverns, Id float down the Nile and meet natives of the land. I would like to interview folks that have history dating thousands upon thousands of years. I want to stand in the middle of an Indian City at rush hour or take a stroll through St. Petersburg during winter. Instead, I come into work, in this building, so I can pay a mortgage. Where did I go wrong? Where did we all go wrong?

PHISH BACK AT IT

Not in Limestone, Maine but on the road...

I have taking a few years off from listening to this band for reasons that are beyond my comprehension. After hearing Trey tell the same story two nights in a row in a mud filled field, and an overwhelming sense of loss when Page couldn't get through Wadding in the Velvet Sea and that last note of "Curtain" was played, words couldn't explain the lost.

Since then I got into more folk written music that tells a story of someones life. I find folk music to be the last true American Frontier's music. I was always big on Jerry's music with the Dead and without and that Frisco Folk has a nice ring to it. I used to be part of that phantasytour back in the day but stopped soon after I graduated from undergrad. Now with the band back together, I'm trying to get back in the scene.

Since post-post hiatus, if that's write, I have been following the shows and attending my first show in over 5 years. Man, did I get a treat. I was 5 rows from the stage in front of Page. The show kicked off with a Chalkdust into a Fee (thats a fun song to hear), then they got into it with a funky Wolfmans (which I feel they overplay), into a Guyute. From reading the message board, why has no one commented on the Guyute. Its one of their most technical songs and you all rant about a Sand. People, get with it, Guyute is a ridiculous song to play and they nailed it. After hearing Guyute, I knew I was in for a treat for the rest of the show. I mean, they even rocked out a 46 days, which when I heard the intro was ready to sit down. Then they visited gamehenge, what, yea, gamehenge with the Lizard people to conclude the first set with Tube. Insane!

Second set came out hot with Sand and cooled it down with Suzy and Limb by Limb (which is cool to hear Trey's and Page's harmonies). They quickly followed it with a little visit from Rift - the album, and got the party heated up again with a Character Zero into Tweezer.

The encore was the dopest part of the show, with Trey's new ode to not doing drugs out of the way, they quickly teases Antelope and got into a Bouncing into Anteloperepirse!

5 1/2 years since standing knee high in mud in a field in Vermont, I felt at home again.

Now how do I figure out how to skip work and get tickets for the rest of this tour?